Saturday, June 8, 2013

The Key To Enjoying Life in One Word

I've been thinking about this blog post for over two years.  Chances are if you've been out for a beer or two with me in that time, I've discussed some variation of this idea with you.

It is my theory on how to enjoy life.

Many people think saying YES!! to everything is the answer,  but I disagree.  The key to enjoying life hides in the ability to say one word.

No.

But first, The Decade of Yes

In my theory, while you are in your 20's you should say "Yes" roughly 80% of the time.  This is to broaden your experiences and be open to the endless possibilities of life when the answer is "Yes".

Want to move to a new city? Yes.
Take a job where you travel extensively?  Yes.
Be in a rotisserie baseball league? Yes.
Stay out late in clubs on a Wednesday?  Yes.
Run a marathon? Yes.
Join a ski cabin?  Yes.
Be on a kickball team?  Yes.
Meet my friend dirty Frank?  Yes.

Keep in mind that there should be some No's sprinkled in there occasionally.  I'm not advocating you  try heroin if you get a chance, but you get the picture.

On to the The Decade of No

As I turned 30, I started saying "No" more often.  I first learned this from my girlfriend at the time.  Sometimes on a Saturday night when there was a party happening, I'd ask her to go.  She would just say, "no, I don't feel like it"

What!?!  What will you do?

"I'm just going to chill here in the apartment".

You know what?  That sounded like a great idea.  So we rented a movie and hung out in the apartment.  It was a huge revelation for me to do exactly what I wanted, instead of what people were expecting me to do.  In my 30s, I started doing that more and more.

In short, I started saying "No" 80% of the time.

But here's the kicker.  Back in my 20s, I gained a lot of experiences by saying "Yes".  In my 30s I had a clear notion of what I like and more importantly what I DON'T like.  So when I said "Yes" in my 30s those were higher quality yes answers.

The ability to say "No" is the ability to filter out the things that waste your time and energy.  People and activities that you don't get joy from.

No  - people that drain energy out of me
No  - people that don't know how to laugh
No  - fantasy sports
No  - extravagant vacations
No  - five hour rounds of golf
No  - bars and late nights
No  - creating stress for myself
No  - social climbing

By empowering yourself to say No, you end up enjoying life more, because you only spend time on the things you want to do.  

My conclusion; our time on this earth is the scarcest resource, choose how you spend it wisely.

Don't be afraid to say No.

1 comment:

  1. Great recap Matty! you're right - time is precious make every moment count!

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